Ever more to say!

Well, so I don’t have the codes memorized as much as I thought. I still need my notebook. That’s all right though so here’s another poem!

Not a person in site
my only company a tree
The birds and the sun.
The carillon twinkles
Almost like it’s playing
Just for me

Much Over Due

Not like I have many followers, but if I did, I’d feel worse about my sporadic updates! I’m seeing if I can get my code to work on this so be patient thank you also, for reading! I know that sometimes you click on something that seems interesting and it isn’t, and since this is really just an outlet for my musings, it really is quite flattering that anybody even cares! So, here’s one I wrote last time it snowed in Alfred.

I look up at the golden snowflakes
Illuminated by dim ochre streetlights;
the ones guarding the night
casting their sickly hue

My breath comes out in clouds
The sound being second only
To my footfalls in the pitch
There is no one but myself.

My pulse lifts my necklace with each beat
And I feel the flowing of my blood.
I feel distinctly alive and at the same time
I feel dead inside.

My heart is heavy
I wish I yearned less for affection
I know I need not a man to be happy
yet without I am alone

I have my friends and family
people who care for me
but I want more,
greedy as gluttony

I cry for hours
And laugh for days:
My emotions are controlling me
And I’ve no way to reign them back.

I shouldn’t depend on a man for happiness
Because happiness will never come
and though I know better
This feeling sustains.

I wish it would stop,
The dread
The brokenness
The feelings

I want to rest
And heal
and if not
Then not to wake again.

Being distracted lately

Yeah, story of my life. I’m updating this from my Kindle Fire, and for those familiar with these amazing gadgets, touch keyboards can really be a bitch. It’s so nice out though, and the computers are inside so I trade comfort for sunshine :3. I do apologize for skipping yesterday. I did not intend for this to become an everyday thing, but why ruin something that’s been going so well? So, I’m just gonna get my journal out…. let’s see…

Why would I rather sit by myself
than pursue a friendly face,
sitting here at an empty table
I wonder if my friend will come.
What defines a friend?
Is it a person who sits to eat with you?
Or enjoys your company, but
what if they hurt you
and pretend you aren’t there for them?
What does that make them?
Is a friend a person you cannot help?
Who makes you smile, but
you take more than you can give?
Why is this something that
I struggle with right now?
When in my childhood I stayed away
I shunned others, I was alone
I had no friends
And now I’ve nothing to learn from
Except the present and my problems.

So yeah. Sorry about the prior lack of color, I’m going to memorize the codes and stuff so that I can update on my kindle more.

Rainy weather in Alfred, big surprise there.

So yeah, it’s raining.  I spent a lot of time cozy and happy in my room today, I even painted my nails (ooooh special!) and read a little from War of the Worlds.

Sharing Poetry

I don’t typically name my works, I feel that the poems are short enough that they can speak for themselves. 

Summer Approaches!

Finals week draws to a close and I am only here for another week.  Maybe I’ll turn this blog around.

I totally haven’t blogged in a long time!

I think it’s because I’m busy all the time and have to schedule my showers in….

 

tFleetness on the Line

I made this video to add to my performance in class, I played an etude in different parts on the line.  I took an etude I thought was particularly ephemeral and would show the fleetness of anything that only exists on the line for a short period of time. 

Fleetness: Final Project

My idea was originally to have do a performance where people stand on the

Hortensio Frank

line and I perform and they hear it and can enjoy the performance that they will only experience once.  When I proposed the idea however, I was told I should make it apply more strictly to the line.  I was considering possibly making almost an installation where I block off the rest of the space, leaving only the line, but that would be a fire hazard and that’s probably not what Bret was talking about.  He said I could possible walk along the line and play, which I will not do.

Focus on Fleetness

I especially enjoyed adapting my French horn to the line.  I know that I didn’t do the best job showing the fleetness of music with my recording, but I have an idea…  I have emailed a professor from Utah State University about an accompaniment for something I played in High school.  With a little practice I can revitalize it and really make something of it.  My idea for this one is to perform.  I would have the class stand in the line and close their eyes so that they are undistracted and can focus on the notes.  Then I will play the Hindemith Horn Sonata which is a modern piece by Paul Hindemith.  It is quirky and weird compared to something more classical where the horn is delicate and pretty.  In his sonata, the horn is used roughly and with crude delicacy produced by the player alone.  The recording I have provided is played by the same professor of whom I have requested the accompaniment (if you’re interested, check out his playing, he offers amazing inspiration with such beautiful playing).  So, rambling aside, this relates to the line and fleetness because, with the students on the line, they will experience the music I play.  Music, as I’ve told, has a unique fleetness in that through out a piece, every note has its own fleetness.  Once that note has passed it is gone forever and the next note comes, so on and so forth.  As a whole, the piece has fleetness because it is gone once every note has been played and gone.  The students in the line will take in every note and will witness the passing of these notes solely with their ears and minds.